Crumbs...
Quote of the week:
"In short, science, however interesting, wasn’t enough to give meaning to my life. I came to see research, as I experienced it myself, as an endless dispersion into detail, and dedicating my whole life to it was something I could no longer envisage."
On the radio:
" even though we have broken up for a year, I still think of him whenever I hear this song. I hope that we can still be friends. Its better to have have loved and lost, than never at all"
I'd say, love lost, one ought to move on. I don't think I have ever been that upset over a relationship -- a year! That really a long time to mourn over a lost relationship.
Its been raining quite a lot lately. The weather is cooler. The skies grey. I can't believe its almost November. I can't believe that Christmas is nearing.
Even now, HMV is already selling Christmas albums.
Soon, the entire Orchard road will be set up with Christmas props.
Time flies. And before you know it, your life has passed you by and you are lying in your grave.
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I have a bag fetish. I was wondering if I should buy this Nike bag... I just bought a bag last month and if I buy another one, my mum is going to disown me or something.
: I saw this bag that I really like. Should I buy it?Daniel: (Laughs) Well, I don't blame you...: What?Daniel: You are a girl. Girls like to buy bags, shoes, clothes...: ...I just went shopping today. I spent quite a bit.. but it felt damn good! ('cept that I think I should have gotten a size bigger for the top...)
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My sense of achievement this week:
I finally manage to
travel across the studio
en pointe! After 3 months (or more) of trying, I finall did it! I figured its all a matter of posture.
PS. SoongOh, you may leave comments now... for you, I'm risking spam! =)
untitled
me: Will you want to have kids?WL: Yeah, but not now.me: Does your wife want to have kids too? You guys talked about it before?WL: Well, no. But at a certain age, women will want to have kids.
Do you call that a chauvinist? Geez, I can't believe that there are people who will still think this way now, in this present age. Why assume that 'maternal instincts' strikes women?me: I don't think I will want to have kids!WL: You are still young, u will think differently when you are olderHow presumptuous!
me: Why do u want to have kids? The world is already a very sad place to be in, why have them to suffer?WL: Do you want to be old and sick with no one to care for you?me: So kids are some kind of retirement plan? Is that why u want to have kids? Kinda selfish huh?WL: You want to be left on the streets when u are old and dying? me: If u plan wisely for your retirement, I am sure you will do fine.(seriously, kids sap away way too much of our money. U either invest in some stocks/shares or in kids)Frankly, I am not that certain about my stand on having kids. But I am not that keen on them either. I have always dreaded living that routine life. You know, get your degree, get a 9 to 5 job, get married, have about 2 kids, bring them up, retire and die. Can I skip the kids part and travel around the world instead? Live in the antartic for a month and watch penguins. Trek for a year through the Himalayas. Go island-hopping in the mediterranean. Admire the aurora borealis from Alaska. Oh, so many things to do. So little money!
By the way, I had a nightmare a few nights ago. i dreamt of ghost and stuff like that. I totally freaked out. I sat in bed for 30mins after I woke up. Still rather shaken! Geez!!
San Marco, Dec 2004
Labels: travels
Glad the week is over!
I wanted to say how this week is so not my week, when I realised that I had a similar entry last week when I broke the bottle of jam. Maybe, this is just so not my month?
Monday:
I lost my ez-link card and visa debit.
Tuesday:
I screwed up, slightly, at work when I forgot to mark the plates. I had a horrid headache by 5pm.
Wednesday:
At work, I swapped the barcode of 2 plates, accidentally.
Thursday:
The one neutral day.
Friday:
Just when I thought that everything was going to be ok, I arranged the deck wrongly and screwed one of the plates. Tried to rectify it... we'll know the results by next week... sighs...
I finally went rock climbing!
The Cult of Mac
"Apple is like a strange drug that you just can't quite get enough of.
They shouldn't call it Mac, the should call it crack!"
- Barry Adamson
I had to return The Red Queen to the NLB. I've renewed it way too many
times. Now, its The Cult of Mac!
Tantric Sex
I am the proud owner of a book on Tantric Sex!
I haven't exactly read it yet, but it really seems interesting (like seriously, wat on earth is tantric sex??) and it was on sale! hahaha.
Yesterday, I broke this piece of news to me colleagues. Somehow, that was too much information. They are the sort of people who feels awkward at the mention of sex. I mean, I am not some sex maniac totally obsessed with that topic. I just like to view sex in a intellectual aspect. For example, as cliche as it is, why sex? Why did we evolve to have sex? Parthenogenesis seems to work too...
me: Hey, I just bought a book on Tantric Sex!Celeste: That sounds interesting! Can I borrow it?That is what differentiates my friends. Those who can find tantric sex interesting, and those who think its a taboo to discuss sex.
Films
I love to watch foreign films. Foreign means not made in Hollywood. Better if its not even in English.
I love to watch films in language that I cannot understand. French sounds pretty good.
I thought "No Man's land" was nice. That was a couple of years ago.
Labels: films, food
Of balls and their sizes
Today, I learnt, in the MRT that there is a correlation between the size of testes and polygamy - or the lack of. (ok i was reading.. a book, not done with The Red Queen yet).
Apparently Chimps have really huge testicles in relation to their physique. Not only are the testicles huge, they are extremely potent and efficient in sperm production. This is very important in a polygamous society where every male chimp gets to fuck almost whoever they want. One of the way to father more descendants is to produce as much sperm as possible. Strength in numbers.
Sperm competition is quite an issue when it comes to reproductive success. Some animals, think mostly insects have evolved highly elaborate penis like structure which could "scrub" out the previous guy's sperms before he ejeculate his own stuff. Dogs just stay in there, physically to make sure that no one gets their sperms in there -- at least for a while. In humans, males make copious amount of low grade sperms which sort of falls behind to hinder progress of any competitor sperm. Its like, "you stay behind to stand guard while I go for the egg" thing.
To Wuilim, whoes gettin married tomorrow, I said:"All the best. I mean good luck. Like really"While the other colleagues were congragulating him, I must have sounded morbid and absolutely inappropriate. Little are they aware of the divorce rate these days. I don't know about the Singapore statistic, but its 50% in the US.
I do not believe in the institution of marriage.
I do not believe in the sanctity of marriage.
I am tempted to say that I don believe in everlasting-true love, i try to be more optimistic and hopeful.
Love and relationships.
What keeps a relationship going? I think constant change (oxymoron) somehow plays a part. At the beginning, when2 people get together, the progress from holding-hands to having sex is a sort of change. After that, they have to bear with each other for a while before marriage happens. After a few years, life might get a little boring, the sex isn't as great aymore, they distract themselves with kids... its the mundance, predictable pattern that most people go through. its almost cliche to the point that I don't want to do that!
Wuilim commented that I am bitter. Really?
In that case, Jon must be really bitter too! haha
SO not my day!
Yesterday was so not my day.
I broke a bottle of jam in the morning.
In the evening, I fell off the chair and in the process, spilled my dinner all over the place, all over myself. Its kinda disgusting to have slimy pasta sliding down your neck. Warm slippery stuff!
I couldn't stop laughing though. I mean, falling off a chair and having pasta all over yourself is something which I thought appears only on "America's funniest home videos" or something.
My brother turned around to see me lying on the floor with pasta strewn all over the place. He stared at me in shock and simply said "What are you doing?"!!!?? argh!
pics
Since I am uploading pictures, I thought I might as well include some of those from Perhentian. Pictures courtesy of melvin.
Labels: films, travels
Farber
Found some old pictures...
This was my desk last year. I stumbled upon this calendar at one of the NUS bazarre (can't spell) and I fell in love with it.
Robert Farber's nudes are so elegently done. They capture the female curves in such a way that its feminine, soft, arty and sophisticated. To the extent that you aren't exactly aware that they are nudes. You forget that they are nudes. You just admire. Truly admire.
(Or do u think I have some lesbian tendencies?)He doesn't use super thin, perfect body models as subjects. These are the average woman, some imperfections here and there, but still pleasing to the eye. Every sinew, muscle, shadow, falls so nicely together.
I have a thing for the human body. Its the biologist, physiologist, anatomist in me! haha. I have always liked those muscled white statues from ancient Greek. They absolutely make me swoon. Its lovely to see those strong muscles etched in marble, usually juxtaposed by serene expression.
Labels: art
dirty pool
I went for a swim yesterday. And I was rather surprise that I could complete 20laps pretty ok. In fact, it didn't feel that tiring so I continued for a while more.
After the swim, showered, preened in front of the mirror and guess what? OMG!! Signs of impending pimples!!! They kinda got full blown this morning and i really hate it. Dirty pool!!!
I really like to swim. But I hate what the chlorine does to my hair. Seriously, after 2 hours of being in the pool, my hair feels like straw. My dearest brother got me a swim cap (shocking pink!!) which proved to be helpful. At least my hair doesn't get so dry now. But alas, when I was in the shower, I realised that although I can wear a swim cap to protect my hair, I don't know what I can do, or if I should, do anything to protect my pubic hair. I mean.. is that too much information?
Brazilian Waxing! I figured if I do that, it will solve the problem. I feel like its something I would like to do, at least once in my life. I am just curious about the pain. Jus like how sometimes I feel like getting a tattoo. (ya and one day I will want to get pregnant cos Iwonder about the pain!!!)
Tattoos. Something I have always dreamt of, but never gotten. Well, mainly because I have no idea what I want, and where I want it. It seems that with time, I change me mind rather frequently. Once I wanted to have a simple heart-shape on one butt cheek -- just like the carebears!! hahaha! Then another time, I wanted to have a turtle swimming round my belly button. But after much thinking, I figured that I don exactly have a nice tone abs to show off. Yeah, the turtle will be wandering around some wobbly stuff! Another time, I wanted to design wierd, abstrat, geometric stuff on my arm. Lately, I have been toying with the idea of a phoenix.. after all, my chinese name, literally translated, is "Jade phoenix". But a phoenix might look rather ah-lianish.. ?
To me, it has always been either beauty or sports. I can't have both. When I was younger, I spent so much time in the sun that i neither cared for my hair nor skin. My hair is really frizzy now -- I would really want to do rebonding but then, if i do, I won't be able to swim forquite a while, nor dive unless I want the frizz back.
Its a pain being a gal. I think if I am male, I will shave off all my hair. if I love APPLE so much, I will carry one on my head!
I like clean shaven guys. Skin heads. I can't explain why, but some of my friends have postulated that I have some hidden urges to hit on monks.
I met someone today who I so completely don't like but can't help being civil with. I hate it when I am like this.
heart's desire...
ok... look beyond bags and shoes and fragrances... what i really want, really really want..
An
Ipod Nano!!!
(more about it in NYT)
I am so in love.Sort of delirious now...
2 days worth of rambles
“Waiting is painful
Forgetting is painful
But not knowing which to do
Is the worst kind of suffering ”
Forgetting is painful.
It is an uphill struggle, of perseverance, of ignoring the temptation to go back.
But once you reach the peak, everything seems easier, and you are more willing to let go, and look ahead.
That is also when you have forgotten.
Almost.
Ray: If u are single in 3 years time, I’ll consider going after u.
: Why 3 years?
Ray: U are still young, I’ll give u 3 years to look around…
Oh but that is of course, if I am still single!
How assuring!
Had such a weird dream just before I woke up. Dreamt of a neglected tomato, camping, rival groups, colleagues, traveling, dormitories, walking around this wall in some strange city (I’ve dreamt of this wall before), packing, flying, insufficient luggage space.
I woke up this morning aching. Back, shoulders, butt, legs, I still can’t seem to lock my ankles en pointe. Apparently I could break my ankles some day if I don’t lock them.
Started watching Initial D anime. Courtesy of Guofeng. However, its too tiring to read the Chinese subtitles… and when I focus so much on those subtitles, I don’t watch the rest of the screen! Yeah, I use to watch Love Generation, also subtitles in Chinese, more than once. Thank goodness Naruto is English subtitled!
Shopping
I never shopped much when I was younger. Simply, lack of purchasing power. I don’t understand why women could just buy and buy. Perhaps, I do now.
It’s a vicious cycle, really. Once you start, you just want more. Last week, I finally got a bottle of Kenzo Flower. This week, I am thinking of also getting Anna Sui’s Wish (Wishes?) I just bought another bag. My mum had the most disagreeable expression when she knew about it. But hey, really, one can never have too many bags or shoes, or accessories or… The truth is, I think bags could be my weakness. I know a guy who has this same weakness too. He has bags for diving, for blading, for short travels, longer travels etc etc … I hope the day never comes, when I start collecting boxes of LV, Burberry and such. (Actually, I think I am the kind who will be more into Eagle Creek than LV...) That’s way too beyond budget. I know a girl who has such a weakness. I believe her when she tells me about her collection of LV and Burberrys… high maintenance.
My niece could well be a baggie when she grows up. She started young. A bag for Chinese tuition, English tuition, maths tuition, science tuition, ballet and school. And in each of her tuition bag, is an entire set of stationary, so that she never needs to pack them!
Yesterday, I saw a dark purple Nike sling bag. It was so pretty! But so expensive too. Had to divert my attention from it. Think of all the sweat shops and exploited child labor. The money you pay goes more to the branding, the already rich corporate kids in suits than these overworked people.
Truth is, I am still thinking about it.
The bag.
Found some old pictures...
