The truth behind...
there was something I wanted to write about. But somehow it totally slipped my mind. Instead, here's something i found..."The truth behind sex between "Friends"
AFTER RELATIONSHIP F BUDDY This is pretty much the most common of the four. It starts out in the following manner. Girl starts dating a guy. Girl finds out that guy is not suitable for her. Girl breaks up with a guy. Girl continues to sleep with the guy after breaking up. And why not? After all, they were having great sex while they dated, why not run straight to the each other when they feel the lust? There is surely nothing to lose, or is there?
SEX AS MEANS TO AN END The second variant of the F buddy occurs when the woman uses sex as means to an end. The woman fancies this guy and seduces him with casual sex hoping to ensnare him into a serious relationship. It is kind of like using sex as a bargaining chip or bait. She hopes to win the love of the man she is sleeping with, risking her chastity for that chance of a happy marriage – slim chance. The thing that she doesn’t realize is, while he is happily sleeping with her and accepting her sexual favours, there tends to be a lost of respect from her partner. The woman gets disappointed most of the time. I am not quite sure if men too perform such intricate manoeuvres, but to date, I have not heard of it.
INCONSEQUENTIAL SEX Sometimes you meet someone and you know for sure the person will not make much of a difference in your life, but the person is quite good looking and you decide to make a pass for the fun of it. This eventually results in sex and you both decide to stay in touch – thus creating casual sex ‘ad infinitum’. Most of the time, you wouldn’t know much about the other person, perhaps you wouldn’t care to anyway. By not knowing the person, you create that lamination and the person cease to exist as a person but an object of pleasure. How could anyone be so sure that this person will not make difference to their life and classify them as F buddy material? Perhaps they already have a partner who is currently studying or working overseas, so they are not really looking for another.
THE AMNESIA/ACCIDENT A sub-variant of the F buddy, it does not quite make it into the list. What generally happens is that this person goes on a holiday or major booze out and ended up sleeps with a friend. Most of the time, one or both parties fake amnesia the morning after and pretended it never happened. Other times, they shrug and pass it off as a freak accident, blaming it on work duress or intoxication. These ‘one off’ attempts at casual sex do not fall under the category of the F buddy, but I do appreciate the efforts of the many people kind enough to relate to me their encounters.
INITIATING SEX If you are hoping that there by reading on you will discover some way to find that elusive F buddy, you will be sorely disappointed. There is no secret formula to finding the F buddy. When two people who are physically attracted to one another and given the right opportunity, if it happens, it happens. Once one has found an F buddy, how does the person initiate subsequent sex with the person? It could be as simple as inviting the buddy over for dinner or drinks. Some people would play out the farce of going out for dinner and movie as though they were involved in a relationship, and then have sex thereafter. In extreme deprivation, you might just find someone knocking at your door proclaiming to be horny. One way or the other, the ultimate aim is to create that opportunity to be alone and carry out the act of sexual gratification. "
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"but I do suspect that I may never fall in love. I think for me it is not important at all. I have the belief that the only love that we truly need is the same kind that we have for our family, our closest friends and our pets. Love is universal to me. Not the kind that fuels jealousy and possesiveness. I think falling in love is at best good as an icebreaker and an opening ceremony to begin a journey in true friendship and love. I am no god and I too can feel jealousy and pettiness but I remind myself very frequently to be above such emotions."
-- just something i found, posted by someone who goes by the nick Benedium
posted by eline @ 4:17 PM
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