Daily Crumbs: March 2006

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

hotels

“Hotels fascinate me in that
They’re incredibly intimate
Spaces that are scoured every
24hours and made to look
Completely anonymous.
people sleep in hotel rooms
and cry in hotel rooms and
bathe in hotel rooms and
have sex in hotel rooms and
start relationships in hotel
rooms and end relationships
in hotel rooms and etc and
etc, but yet every time we
check into a hotel room we
feel as if we’re the first guest
and we get upset
if there’s any remnant of a
previous guests stay.
something about this idea,
that these intimate spaces
are wiped clean
every 24 hours, fascinates
me. that we enter a hotel
room and it becomes our
biological home for a while
and then we leave.
in some ways its similar
to the human condition

we exist and we strive and
we love and we cry and we
laugh and we run around
and we sleep and we build
things and we have sex and
then we die and, not to
cound too depressing, the
world is wiped clean of our
biological presence, which,
from my perspective, makes
our brief biological time
here all the more precious
due to its relative brevity.
hotels, in specific, fascinate
me in that so much effort is
expended to maintain a
perfect neutrality.”

-- Moby

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

spam

I just received the wierdest spam ever

"Call out Gouranga be happy
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga!
That which brings the highest happiness..."

pessimism vs opti

Do you think that the world is a) going to be a better place, b) a worse place. c) remain the same?
I think the world is not going to get better, haha, its in fact on the slippery slope of destruction. Then you could say that I am pessimistic but wait, on second thoughts, that’s not pessimism. To think that the world is going to be a worse place than it is now, I also have to think that it’s a better place at present. Which means that I am appreciating the present. That’s not pessimistic. That’s appreciative. In fact for those who think conversely, also think that it sucks now.

I don’t know why I am going on about that. Its one of those chicken-egg thing I suppose.

----------------------
So, I am a cookie monster. As a matter of fact, I really like cookies, especially chocolate chips. When asked if I would choose rice or hope should I be stranded on an island, I chose the latter. I don’t like being hungry. I’ve been through that before (now I sound like I grew up in times of famine where food was scarce..) – I don think that test is accurate at all. I don remember Cookie monster being an extrovert. My friend who is a man of few words, and seemingly deep thoughts turn out to be an Elmo. I mean that singing red thing can’t be like him

Next, I am according to that DNA test thingy, only 6% feminine. Haha.. so wat is the other 94%? To be honest, I don’t think I am the typical female. Maybe going through years in a convent made a difference…??

----------------------
When people ask me what I do,
“I work in a lab”
“I study AD”
“I work with flies, and yes they can be forgetful”

When asked what I studied
“”physiology”
“you mean something like physiotherapy?”
“no, its more like biology”

So sometimes, to life easier for everyone, I just tell them “Biology”

When asked about my family
“I’ve a sister who’s 34, a brother 33. I think I am an accident”

Someone recently asked
“Are you married?”

I thought that was so funny, I laughed so hard that it must have been rude.

I use to say that I like my time in Berkeley so much because I feel anonymous. There is minimum stereotype. Here, all I have to do is mention my school and almost every guy goes “that explains why you are like this”
I don’t hate it. I am used to it. In fact sometimes I admit that if I was in a different school, I might have turned out a little more subdued.
I use the very same stereotype for others too. And it rarely proves me wrong. Somehow, schools can really mould you. In those very crucial years of your life, the school u go to makes who you are. I think my niece is turning into a “ah-lian”. And I seriously think that if she’d carried on the family tradition and went to a missionary school (just like her mum and I), she’ll be different.
--------------------

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Nocturne -- Dorothy Parker

Always I knew that it could not last
(Gathering clouds, and the snowflakes flying),
Now it is part of the golden past
(Darkening skies, and the night-wind sighing);
It is but cowardice to pretend.
Cover with ashes our love's cold crater ---
Always I've known that it had to end
Sooner or later.

Always I knew it would come like this
(Pattering rain, and the grasses springing),
Sweeter to you is a new love's kiss
(Flickering sunshine, and young birds singing).
Gone are the raptures that once we knew,
Now you are finding a new joy greater ---
Well, I'll be doing the same thing, too,
Sooner or later.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

This is soooo fun!!!

Cookie Monster
You scored 29% Organization, 61% abstract, and 55% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are more sloppy, both concrete and abstract, and about equally introverted and extroverted.

Here is why are you Cookie Monster.

You are both sloppy. You might not always know where everything you need is. Perhaps you don't even care. Hopefully you don't shovel food into your mouth at least.

You both are partially concrete and abstract thinkers. Cookie Monster knows what he wants (cookies!) and he consistently works toward that goal. However he comes up with imaginative and unusual strategies in pursuit of that goal. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course.

You are both somewhat introverted. Cookie Monster might not have the most sophisticated syntax, but he does have some friends. He is close with Ernie. You probably like to have some time to yourself, but you do like spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations.

The other possible characters are
Oscar the Grouch
Big Bird
Snuffleupagus
Ernie
Elmo
Kermit the Frog
Grover
The Count
Guy Smiley
Bert

Thursday, March 16, 2006

molecular stuff

I spent almost a year doing molecular biology. Cloning and such. I am doing that again but somehow, in a different lab, things are different. I feel like i have to start from scratch and thats frustrating cos its been such a long while since i did PCR or ligations, and I didn't make copies of my previous protocols. So I am back to the start, figuring out every little thing and its frustrating.

12 is the number for this week 2. After 2 attempts to purify a fragment, I have only 12ng/ul after the ordeal. First using Qiagen's gel extraction, today with Zymo's DNA purification (which is really simple and quick).

Now to my dismay, I noticed that the 'unique' site that I wanted to use is not really unique. In fact, it cuts right in my sequence of interest.

And Vector NTI really ought to have some simple intro/tutorial. I mean, its crazy that no matter how i try to subclone 2 fragments together, their ends never seem to be compatible. It worked once... but not today. I think its a difficult software to use with all its sophistication. Clone - i used that, was something i could figure out after tinkering with it. So was this alignment programme.

I get obsessive. When i want to get something done, sometimes i forget to stop. And i take so long cos sometimes i go off tangent. -- this explains why i am still in office 2 hours after the official work hours.

I need to get a life!

Labels: food

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

nothing much really

I just had such awful bread for breakfast!
It was some cheese-sugar bun you commonly see in bakeries. I bought it at one near the market and it totally sucks. Granted that I bought it yesterday, but still, I have never tasted such awful overnight bread before! Urgh! I think I can bake better (ok, I don’t make bread…)

Work: Did restriction analysis yesterday because previous day’s digestion didn’t exactly give the desired results. I was 4 preps of plasmids with different restriction enzymes. Some time after lunch, i took a look at the gel and it was petrifying! I mean, the bands were awfully faint. It was really barely visible. The DNA ladder didn’t look too either. So I repeated the expt, this time with double the plasmid DNA, and by 5pm, phew, finally got what I wanted. Though still, I have a slight problem with the size. Anyway, guess, its safer to do some sequencing at the 2 ends to make sure everything is ok… eww

Molecular work… I thought I left it 2 years ago..

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

On bags

Like many women out there, I have a thing for bags. All shapes and sizes. I use to just like the more functional outdoors sort, but now that I am no longer traveling around that much (sadly so), and am working, I guess my tastes have changed.

I don’t know how many bags I have, but definitely not enough. Its only enough when you have a bag for any occasion, for any outfit. And, I have to admit that I can be rather fussy about bags.

Shape: I think its important that bags have a good shape. Like really, shape is so important. If you are carrying something shapeless, its not that nice because its going to either take the shape of whatever weird stuff you have in there or it will just mould to your body. A bag with an ugly shape is a no-no. Ah, but beauty is subjective. I generally don’t like bags which are too boxy looking. I like them to have more curves. Less ‘pointy’. I think curves are pretty.

Touch: Bags should be nice to the touch. You should like the feel of your bag. I always tell people the reason why I think the feel is important is because you should like the feel of your bag so much that you will never leave it behind! Haha, to be honest, I don’t know if I really think so. But its still a reason. The same goes for wallets. Wallets must feel good in the hand.

Space: Good bags have compartments. The ideal is 2 compartments inside. One for the cellphone, one for small stuff which always seem to go missing when you need them the most. Too many compartments will be quite a pain too, none will be a greater pain. It looks awful to be seen digging inside one’s bag with the look of frustration. As a last resort, one may even have to empty the bag just to kind the little lippy or something.

Size: This really depends on what you need the bag for. I have quite a few bags, or well, purses which are too small for me, but then it forces me to bring less around. I don’t know if that’s good. The list of things I like to have in my bag sounds rather neurotic at time (in order of preference) – tissue paper , blotter, lipgloss, comb, hair clip, concealer, floss, perfume, nail clipper. Of course that’s the ideal. No wait! Actually most of the time, I do carry all of them around ‘cept for the nail clipper! I have a friend who feels extremely insecure without tissue paper. There was once we counted 5 packs in her bag! So actually, when I do use such small purses, I simple don’t bring my wallet. Just a few cards and some cash. Usually, they fit and I feel happy.
(The really ideal list will also include reading material and mp3 player – btw, I just bought a nano!)

Weight: There are some bags which feel heavy before you put anything into them. That’s a no-no. Such bags tend to look very stiff too.

I am not into leather bags. I am not some animal rights fan but really, I think one shouldn’t use leather unless it’s a necessity – such as, for the cold (I have realized that leather shoes really keep your feet warmer). I don’t think there is a need to carry leather bags. I use to think there is no need for leather footwear too but alas, that has changed.

Right now, I really need a ballet bag. One that can fit 3 to 4 pairs of shoes, 1 character skirt, basic leotard and tights, compartments for hair accessories and water bottle, some left over space for a book or readings and my list of “must bring around”. And its so hard to find such a bag. First, there was Nike. It was even size-adjustable with a zipper. But then someone commented that it was a pretty bag with a nice shape, spoilt by the coarse looking strap. How true. Since then, I have observed that Nike bags tend to have ugly straps. I am getting desperate. I am already carryin my stuff in paper bags for the time being… argh!!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

DNA

Genuine Creator

My Personal Dna Report

That was fun!!! Got it off Maine who in turn got it from Niki ( i think we've met...)

Labels: food

on marriage

"When we were still dating, I will wake up to see her all nice and made up in the morning. And she has breakfast waiting for me. After we got married, I wake up to see her snoring next to me, and I have to get breakfast for her!"

I thought that was funny. I laughed so hard.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

beautiful

I was in a bus a few days back, listening to my mp3s. It was James Blunt and he was going on and on

“You’re beautiful”
(no, I’m not)
“You’re beautiful”
(he’s so insistent)
“You’re beautiful, its true”
(fine! Alright, I am!)

I figured we should have a CD compilation for days when you feel ugly.
It will be called “songs to serenade”

That was some corn up there.

I think its draining to go for dance after work. I simply felt drained, lack of stamina to the point where I don’t pull up as much, my jumps look sloppy and I honestly can feel the last reserve of energy seeping out of my body. I’m not exaggerating. I’ve trained very hard before and felt tired. But this is a different kind of tired. And you push so hard to keep up the decreasing energy level to muster up a hop, jump (and to land with a deep demi plie with your ‘weight up there’)

I have 2 lovely nieces. The younger one is 10 – she is one of those kids who can give sarcastic remarks equivalent to an adult's and that makes it so funny. Though there are times, often when she has been brutally blunt. She was also the kid, at the age of 2, who said that my boyfriend was ugly. She said it with such innocence and honesty!!

I’m feeling fat. Not fat fat, but just softer everywhere. Must be all the nuts!

: I still talk so much about him. I'm not over him.
B: Just talk as much as you want till you forget him.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Into love and out again

For some unknown reason, I am so freaking tired today.
And its one of those Monday mornings which can go so all out wrong. Despite having done my ironing, laid out the clothes I’ll be wearing today, I’d wonderfully forgotten about the so all important alarm! So I woke up 45mins late – by the grace of my mum else I would have slept in till 12! Wanted to get a cab – there’s some conspiracy about cabs. Whenever I have no need of the,, cabs almost always slow down in front of me thinking that hey I do need their service. And when, like this morning, I was in need of a cab, none of them freaking came! Oh, and I woke up with sore eyes. Not exactly, just that they felt swollen. Images of those eye fungal infection flashed across my mind 1st thing this morn. (there’s this scare that using Renu lens solution could be link to fungal infection of the eye… rising cases of that here and seems like a huge % of these infected people uses Renu. Even now, Renu has agreed to pull their products off the market)

Met up with a fren last night and we wind up talking about our love life. I absolutely hate talking about my ex but I almost always wind up talking about him. I hate talking about it because it’s a sign that I have not moved on, I can’t let go which is something I find rather irritating. Rationally speaking, I should move on. There is no point harping on the past. Then there is the wishy-washy side of me getting all whiny and emotional. It’s the constant fight in me. The hopeless emotional romantic, stereotypically more prevalent among women, and the logical, cold hearted thinker which the environment has molded in me.

Into love and out again,
Thus I went and thus I go.
Spare your voice, and hold your pen:
Well and bitterly I know
All the songs were ever sung,
All the words were ever said;
Could it be, when I was young,
Someone dropped me on my head?
--Dorothy Parker

Still in a very poetic mood. Yesterday, I was reading Penguin’s collection of love poems. Its got categories such as “declaration”, “separation”, “aberration” etc. Anyway, some of them were hilarious while others poignant. Whatever I’d learnt in PC (practical criticism) class came flooding into my mind. The stuff on metaphor, the use of alliteration, juxtaposition, imagery does help one to analyze a piece and understand it better.

On love. Its scary what it can do to someone. It can make one lose all rational sense, promote self-sacrifice – needless ones. When you know of choices people make not for the sake of love but for the hope of love, it just terrifies me. Why will one do that? (her mother suspects that someone placed a “love voodoo” thing on her).

The hardcore biologist in me thinks that sometimes, what makes a person more emotional than another is in the environmental milieu in his/her brain. No, I am not a staunch believer of determinism, nor am I going start on something about freewill vs that. But somehow, I am vaguely convince that what’s in your brain really makes u who are. There’s this rather famous work on polygamy. Some rat/rodent in California which stays faithful and devoted for life. And it seems that they do so because they have more of a certain hormones in their brain. I am being vague here, but that’s all I can recall now. Some parallel studies in humans seem show that it works the same too. (really,, we should make our husbands-to-be go for that screening just to know the probability of him being unfaithful! Or maybe, we could drug their food with that hormone on a regular basis; better still, there was a recent patent on some time-release polymer gel which can be easily injected under the skin. Just imagine an adv “Time-release gels to keep your husbands faithful!”,. Then again, I must say that men are not the only ones who stray.) Scientists seems weird and eccentric because it seems that could be slightly (or very, it depends) autistic. Which is an almost total lack in EQ, the inability to empathize, hence their seemingly rational (and perhaps heartless) behavior. This is old science. Used and trodden. Animal behavior. Hormones and behavior.

I guess, some people are just more prone to the effects of love. Maybe, there will one day be a drug for it which clears the mind for more rational thinking in times of pain and heartbreak.

Is this really a good idea? I don’t know. Life is a made up of inevitable pain. Being able to take that away sort of lessens the quality of life huh? Yet, making stupid decisions while mentally/emotionally unsound can be bad too. So if we do have pills to control our every feelings someday, realize that we have reached a state of homogeneity.

No, I am not depress nor bitter. A little melancholic maybe. You can’t help it when you’ve been listening to acoustic rock for the past hour.

And yes, I am still very into nuts. I have tried like 4 different brands in the past 2 weeks. Planters is awfully salty, Tai Seng is still salted but much better, there’s this US brand that is by far with the least salt, and Camel's roasted & salted nuts have this crispiness to them (I wonder what that is…)

Thursday, March 02, 2006

nuts abt nuts

Its been a week and I am still so crazy about nuts.
I consume about 170g of nuts in a week! Will I grow fat on them?

Suddenly, my mind's a blank and I have nothing to write about.

Labels: food

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Perfection

I have never been a perfectionist. In fact, I wonder how people can be perfectionists.
I am the absolute epitome of mess and unkempt.
I think some degree of mess in life makes it more fun. Questions like “Where have I placed my specs?” and then I go around looking for them. Its like a hide-and-seek for adults.

But I think that’s all in the past. Living in an orderly and structured world with rules have changed me. Subtle to the point that I was unaware. A world in which the words neat and organized are valued.

Today, I was rather surprise to realize that I care so much about the labels I was sticking to the wall. I’d just made some labels for our coat racks and they have to look as close to perfect as possible. Which means, all the labels are to be at the same height, with the same font sizes. I went to the extend of redoing them simply because the height was not uniform enough! Since when was I a stickler for such perfection? To me, as much as possible, if you can make it look better, do it. It can’t look worse than the best.

Now, I sound slightly obsessed.

I’m not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
’cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you’re not even sure what it’s for
Any more than me

Daily Crumbs

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

hotels

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

spam

pessimism vs opti

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Nocturne -- Dorothy Parker

Saturday, March 25, 2006

This is soooo fun!!!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

molecular stuff

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

nothing much really

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

On bags

Saturday, March 11, 2006

DNA

on marriage

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

beautiful

Monday, March 06, 2006

Into love and out again

Thursday, March 02, 2006

nuts abt nuts

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Perfection

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