Into love and out again
For some unknown reason, I am so freaking tired today.And its one of those Monday mornings which can go so all out wrong. Despite having done my ironing, laid out the clothes I’ll be wearing today, I’d wonderfully forgotten about the so all important alarm! So I woke up 45mins late – by the grace of my mum else I would have slept in till 12! Wanted to get a cab – there’s some conspiracy about cabs. Whenever I have no need of the,, cabs almost always slow down in front of me thinking that hey I do need their service. And when, like this morning, I was in need of a cab, none of them freaking came! Oh, and I woke up with sore eyes. Not exactly, just that they felt swollen. Images of those eye fungal infection flashed across my mind 1st thing this morn. (there’s this scare that using Renu lens solution could be link to fungal infection of the eye… rising cases of that here and seems like a huge % of these infected people uses Renu. Even now, Renu has agreed to pull their products off the market)
Met up with a fren last night and we wind up talking about our love life. I absolutely hate talking about my ex but I almost always wind up talking about him. I hate talking about it because it’s a sign that I have not moved on, I can’t let go which is something I find rather irritating. Rationally speaking, I should move on. There is no point harping on the past. Then there is the wishy-washy side of me getting all whiny and emotional. It’s the constant fight in me. The hopeless emotional romantic, stereotypically more prevalent among women, and the logical, cold hearted thinker which the environment has molded in me.
Into love and out again,
Thus I went and thus I go.
Spare your voice, and hold your pen:
Well and bitterly I know
All the songs were ever sung,
All the words were ever said;
Could it be, when I was young,
Someone dropped me on my head?
--Dorothy Parker
Still in a very poetic mood. Yesterday, I was reading Penguin’s collection of love poems. Its got categories such as “declaration”, “separation”, “aberration” etc. Anyway, some of them were hilarious while others poignant. Whatever I’d learnt in PC (practical criticism) class came flooding into my mind. The stuff on metaphor, the use of alliteration, juxtaposition, imagery does help one to analyze a piece and understand it better.
On love. Its scary what it can do to someone. It can make one lose all rational sense, promote self-sacrifice – needless ones. When you know of choices people make not for the sake of love but for the hope of love, it just terrifies me. Why will one do that? (her mother suspects that someone placed a “love voodoo” thing on her).
The hardcore biologist in me thinks that sometimes, what makes a person more emotional than another is in the environmental milieu in his/her brain. No, I am not a staunch believer of determinism, nor am I going start on something about freewill vs that. But somehow, I am vaguely convince that what’s in your brain really makes u who are. There’s this rather famous work on polygamy. Some rat/rodent in California which stays faithful and devoted for life. And it seems that they do so because they have more of a certain hormones in their brain. I am being vague here, but that’s all I can recall now. Some parallel studies in humans seem show that it works the same too. (really,, we should make our husbands-to-be go for that screening just to know the probability of him being unfaithful! Or maybe, we could drug their food with that hormone on a regular basis; better still, there was a recent patent on some time-release polymer gel which can be easily injected under the skin. Just imagine an adv “Time-release gels to keep your husbands faithful!”,. Then again, I must say that men are not the only ones who stray.) Scientists seems weird and eccentric because it seems that could be slightly (or very, it depends) autistic. Which is an almost total lack in EQ, the inability to empathize, hence their seemingly rational (and perhaps heartless) behavior. This is old science. Used and trodden. Animal behavior. Hormones and behavior.
I guess, some people are just more prone to the effects of love. Maybe, there will one day be a drug for it which clears the mind for more rational thinking in times of pain and heartbreak.
Is this really a good idea? I don’t know. Life is a made up of inevitable pain. Being able to take that away sort of lessens the quality of life huh? Yet, making stupid decisions while mentally/emotionally unsound can be bad too. So if we do have pills to control our every feelings someday, realize that we have reached a state of homogeneity.
No, I am not depress nor bitter. A little melancholic maybe. You can’t help it when you’ve been listening to acoustic rock for the past hour.
And yes, I am still very into nuts. I have tried like 4 different brands in the past 2 weeks. Planters is awfully salty, Tai Seng is still salted but much better, there’s this US brand that is by far with the least salt, and Camel's roasted & salted nuts have this crispiness to them (I wonder what that is…)
posted by eline @ 5:11 PM
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