Daily Crumbs: February 2006

Monday, February 27, 2006

In Her Shoes

Woke up this morning to aches all over… from my left shoulder (which must be due to bad sleeping position), to lower back ache, the calves.. and the worst pain was the one in the butt. It’s the sort of pain which stays with you throughout the day and you don’t realize how much butt muscles u use till u feel them. Walking and stairs are the worst.

In a masochistic way, the pain is nice because it means that I really did some work yesterday. That I really used some muscles yesterday. Here is the way to a firmer and stronger body. The pain is worth it! Which reminds me of something my teacher said – Stretching is painful, but there will come a point when you begin to love the pain, and to enjoy it. She said this in all sincerity with a smile on her face.

Just watched In Her Shoes, and the poetry in there was lovely (someone commented, that 2 lovely poems for a chick flick is quite a big deal!). Such that I went down to Kinokuniya intent on getting some poetry books. I remembered how I was once very into poetry. How once in school I had a wonderful literature teacher going on and on about Keats and Woodsworth. How I use to read Shelley, Byron…

i carry your heart with me
(e.e. cummings)
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

------------------------------------------------

One Art
(Elizabeth Bishop)
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Labels: films

Friday, February 24, 2006

friday

Its a Friday. I feel like going somewhere to chill, sip coffee and contemplate about nothing in particular...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

links

Numeric Life
Interesting stuff. Well its all on numbers, facts and figure. Stats! But like how correlated are some of the stuff?

About food.. here's where I got all the nuts info on. Quite a good read. Really someone should do something about finding out the history of tu-tu-kueh, Kaya and Putu Piring!

Tu tu Kueh 7 Nuts

I decided to write about "tu tu kueh" instead of prata.

As usual, the first avenue of research is to Google. Try searching "tu tu kueh" and you will come across many local blog entries. Guess this is something that is really singapore. Since there isn't any information on that, there isn't much that I can go on about... other than its one of those yummy things in life.

Its a rather simple bite size thingy and i love it. And i think its always fun to watch the aunties making them -- their rather quick, nimble movements. Hold the mould, fill it with some flour, a teaspoon of filling, more flour, scrape off excess, with a quick gesture, turn it over the steam-plate-like-thing. It reminds me of making sandcastles. The way you pack sand into a cup and turn it over quickly, remove the cup so that the packed sand stays. Something like that. Tu Tu Kueh never tastes as good if I don't get to watch it being made before my very eyes. Same with pratas too. There was this guy at the Engineering fac's canteen who flips his prata in the same beat as his Hindi music int he background. It was rather fun to watch, i was amused. Ohh.. besides tu tu kueh, there is the Malay version, Putu Piring (???). A bigger looking tu tu kueh and filled with Gula Melaka instead. Oh well... i sound fat huh? Talking about food all the time!

Moving on... to nuts! Yeah... i like them too. I didn't have time for lunch today and nuts were my life saver! Nuts are "low glycemic, which means they 'burn slow' and don't cause a surge in insulin levels which can result in a crash in blood sugars." Now I know why even at 5pm, i didn't feel particularly hungry -- must have been the 6 pieces of cashew i had this morning!

"Nuts are a good protein source, and an excellent fuel because of their fat, and to a lesser degree, carbohydrate, content. People recoil at the mention of the word 'fat', but we have to remember that fat is just a fuel to burn in daily activity. If our energy budget is right, the intake of fats and carbohydrates are burned up in daily activity. It is only when we eat too much of anything that trouble starts. Overlaid on this is 'good fat, bad fat'. Nut fats are good because they are unmodified. Some may have useful contributions of omega-3 , sadly deficient in an industrial diet. Some have high amounts of monosaturates, also useful for regularizing blood lipids and protecting from cardiovascular deterioration. Whole nuts 'burn slow', and help equilibriate appetite, damping down 'calory cravings'. In a natural diet, using nuts as an important part of the food mix, and coupled with exercise, it is possible to lose, not gain, weight. Again, excess calories, from whatever source - sugars, starches, fat, or oil - over and above your energy expenditure, will be stored as fat. Nuts in themselves are not 'fattening', lack of exercise and overeating any carbohydrate or fat is fattening. "

Suddenly, I feel like I'm a fan of nuts. Think I will go buy more later. Almonds will be good. Roasted ones. The cashew i bought were salted -- in my opinion, over-salted! (Health benefits aside, the salt will kill u!!). Man can live on nuts alone!! hAhaha..

Labels: food

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

kaya toast

I was on my way to work this morning from my sister's place in Bedok. Its the sort of typical residential area with the typical hustle and bustle of the market scene. Housewives and aunties carrying plastic bags of their vegetables and such, shopowners setting up stalls, even the pasar malam was open!! I walked pass the food center and wondered if I could spare some time for kaya toast with soft boiled egg. It has been a long time since I'd enjoyed this 'traditional' breakfast set. when i was a kid, my dad would bring me to this coffee shop near Kellog Convent for kaya toast and tea before sending me to school in the mornings ... when i was working near Raffles Place, there was this really run-down looking coffee shop (opposite Speaker's Corner) which makes such yummy kaya toasts -- a slit was made in the bread and filled with a sliver of butter and kaya before it was toasted (ok it wasn't the traditional grilled sort but still good). That entire shop house was torn down a about a year later!! The best i had, could remember is the one at Killiney road. I've not been there in years... wonder if its still good. i mean, it takes a lot of effort to wake up that early on a weekend and go all the way to town for that!! Haha.. maybe I will...

Anyway, I was tempted to stop by for some of it this morning which I did. I mean it wasn't like great stuff, but good enough. At least the bread was toasted enough to be warm and crispy on the outsite and still tastes/feels like bread when you bite into it. That 'doughy' chewy feeling. The best part was when some melted butter dripped out of it!! Haha.. thats it! Butter, as fattening, as sinful as it is, is sooo good. (why bother with margarine when there's barely any taste to it? Sometimes, i rather go without it)

Soft boiled egg was just erm, egg. I could never get it the way i like them -- all the whites have to be white (i don't like those transparent stuff especially near the yolk) and semi soft (not hard). The one I had this morning was ok i guess. Not perfect but edible.

Tea = teh, teh-o, teh-si, teh-sua... whatever, i ordered teh-si which i think means just milk without the sugar? anyway it tasted more like milk than tea. That was disappointing but wasn't enough to dampen my impression of the kaya toast!

I'm going a little off tangent here. This is suppose to be a solely kaya entry.. anyway about Kaya, I'm wondering if its a typical Singapore thing but then, Malaysia has it too. Sometimes, its hard to have something thats really singapore -- afterall we were once part of malaysia. I'm googling on the origins of Kaya... but... there's really almost nothing about it after going through some of the stuff...

I think the ones served at S11 foodcourts is just wierd. I don't like YaKun's toast cos they are over toasted -- its over toasted, therefore too dry, I might as well eat biscuits! SOme people love YaKun for that very reason though. Someone once commented that I must be a very fussy eater to be make such a fuss out of kaya. I can eat most kaya, and i can tell you what's wrong with it or why i think its not 'perfect'. But I'm not fussy because I still eat it.

Next... I will talk about Roti Prata!!! oh well... maybe not.

Labels: food

Monday, February 20, 2006

Dance, mirrors, weight

A dance teacher I had told me that when she was undergoing her dance training, she was restricted to only tofu and apples everyday. She said that was like a huge way to loose weight and makes one feel very light.
That has become, to me the way dancers should strife to eat.

Then, I found this:
Athletes have special nutritional needs that will vary with sex, age, body composition and most importantly by the type, intensity, frequency and duration of the physical exercise. However the diet of certain groups of athletes such as ballet dancers is inadequate due to overly restrictive habits as a consequence of their obsession with losing or maintaining a low body weight that reflects an aesthetic preference for thinness. Physical exercise implies energy expenditure and thus, an increase in the energy intake is required to avoid possible situations of malnutrition. Both a negative energy balance and physical exertion have been shown to induce immunological changes which have been implicated as a possible explanation for increased susceptibility to illness and infections
Nutr Hosp, 1999 Sep-Oct;14(5):184-90.

Its true that dancers have an obsession with thinness. The desire to create an illusion of length, is further enhanced when one is thin. When you spend most of your day in a studio with mirrors for walls, its hard not to notice any bulging fats. Not least when you are clad in skin tight leotards which a friend once said to me "there is no way you can hide anything!" Therefore, dancers are disciplined. We are never late for classes, our hair is immaculately done up in a bun.. every strand has its place. Of course, with all these incalcated discipline, dancers are also disciplined eaters. In fact, they barely eat. Between practices with only 45min break, there really isn't much you want to eat or can eat. You really don't want to feel food bouncing in your stomach later during a jete or temp levee. And so usually, before you know it, the day has passed and you have barely eaten.

Having mirrors for walls, in my opinion makes dancers more self conscious. Its like how my teacher always says "Girls, you have to take care. Take care that your posture is right, your arms are held" You can say that dancing has made me more particular about how one looks. Which is good in a way, slightly different from the i'm-in-a-labcoat-therefore-i-don-care attitude.

Labels: dance

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Codeine

This is the first time the doctor prescribe codeine for fever.
It tastes awful.

So anyway I was checking up on this medicine when i found this:
"Do not stop taking codeine suddenly if you have been taking it continuously for more than 5 to 7 days. Stopping suddenly could cause withdrawal symptons and make you very uncomfortable. Your doctor may want to gradually reduce your dose."
and
"Codeine is habit forming. Do not stop taking it suddenly"

http://www.drugs.com/mtm/codeine.html

39deg

You know you are growing old when you:
1. Get wierd aches and pains when you run
2. Start having allergies
3. Fall sick more frequently
4. Scars seem to take forever to heal

Just recovered from fever. It started off as an innocent headache. The accompanying muscle pain was dismissed as aches from back strengthening exercises the previous day. The doctor found nothing wrong with me -- no temperature, normal blood pressure, prescribed me something for the headache and I was free to go. I spent the whole day in bed. That was on Monday. Tuesday at work... things began to get worse, I felt worse. Headache, loss of appetite and nausea. By 5, I was shivering and very sure that I was falling ill. Back to my doctor... temperature of almost 39deg, i felt so awful. Wednesday was spent at home again. Mostly in bed. After all these non-strenuous activity, I began to feel somewhat weaker and weaker as if I was wasting away. I guess this is how, when one is old, feels weak? I've not felt this way for a long long time. 2 bedridden days and I feel my muscle disappearing. Thats fast huh? Take one such a long time to build up and maintain definition and simply 2 days to have it all disappear!

All I wanted to eat during these days was bread.

Amazingly though, I had to ability to finish over 300pages of "Escape from Paradise". It was an interesting read though at times, the author really did sound like a spoilt brat. Can't be help considering her affluent background. And it makes you think twice about being a "tai-tai". Many gals think that its great to be a "tai tai" Live off your husband credit cards, do nothing but shop and go for expensive luncheons etc... but one thing most don't realise is that living off someone's credit card is tantamount to living under someone's mercy. Having someone control your life through the card. In our materialistic society, one really cannot survive without money. Tai-tais have cards. No cash. This is one thing often overlooked. I suppose whenn one marries and becomes a tai-tai, there must have been a certain amount of love and trust involved. That this person will take care of you, be nice to you and love you. Its painful but true that love isn't forever. How many times have we come across cases of adultery and abuse? I must say though that there are of course nice hapy couples around. The world isn't as bleak as it seems sometimes.

Another insight gleaned from the book -- the way chinese/singaporeans work. The issue with money. At how money was such a touchy issue, it really reminded me of my own family though mine can never boast of that sort of riches. Still, the attitude is similar. How everyone seems to constantly think of it. Like really, I think money is the root of all problems in my family. We never had that much which is why it sounds all the more pathetic when problems arises over such small sums (ie. less than a peanut!!)! You can say I hate money. No, secretly i want lots of it. But I hate talk of it! I hate it when it becomes the sole source of motivation, i hate it when people become unscrupulous because of that. I hate it when money takes precendence over family ties(not that i am a big fan of family stuff), relationships and friendships. I hate it when it becomes the be all and the end all.

As I was lying in bed last night, I suddenly thought of something my brother once told me. He said that to me only once and i remember it. That was about 16 years ago. I was 8. He told me this "Your dad has left you, therefore you must learn to be independent. Do not expect others to do things for you. If there is something you don't know how to do, never say "I don't know" because even if you don't, you can always learn" Something like that.

Then, he taught me to wash my school shoes.

Till this day, I still hate saying "I don't know"
I very much prefer "I'm not sure".

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

simple needs

I've realised that human beings are indeed difficult to please. We are not easily contented either.

I use to think that I don't ask for much in a partner. I just want someone who makes me happy, makes me laugh. Sounds like such a simple criteria and i was really proud of that. Till one day i asked myself "So what makes me happy?" and I realise that it was not such a simple answer after all. In fact, I don't have the answer.

Similarly, I have heard
"I am a simple guy with simple needs"
: "So what do u want?"
"I'm looking for a companion"
:"sounds simple enough but it seems like you have exceptionally high expectations regarding the companion"

Life is multi-faceted. Diabolical at times. Simple statements have a complex side. Complex issues, are on retrospect, pretty simple after all.

The process of forgetting, letting go and moving on goes like this:
1. Feel relieve that whatever it is has ended.
(Glad that I don't constantly think of him, wait in anticipation for his every sms/phone call etc.)
2. You start missing it.
(No sms, no one misses u, no one cares... thats sad)
3. You realise its never going to come back and finally, you move on.

Monday, February 06, 2006

friends

I’ve just been thinking about people, and accepting them for who they are. Personally, I don’t think I can ever, nor want to change myself for someone else. By change, I mean major changes such as from an idiot to smartass. Drastic extreme changes. Little modifications are acceptable. But not too much to the point when I do not know who I am anymore.

I’ve known this really great gal since we were 8. We recently met up for a chat, partly also because my recent break with a guy and she called me at the right time. And somehow, talking to her made me think that its wonderful that we are friends. Neither of us are perfect. We have flaws, we hated each other at some point when we were kids. I was blunt, she was rude, we felt like the other person was irritating… But yet at the end of the day, I’ve learned to accept her for who she is. And as time goes by, all the flaws become smaller and insignificant while everything nice about her becomes amplified. That’s the beauty of friendship. And I guess that is what love could be like.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Before Sunrise

"I always feel the pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood and not make it look like my whole life is revolving around some guy.
But loving someone and being loved means so much to me.
I always make fun of it and stuff but isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?"

Daily Crumbs