alone
I use to cringe at the thought of having to be seen alone in public places -- such as eating alone, shopping alone, basically being alone. And its not that I hate being with myself, but rather i hated being seen alone! I felt that it was pathetic, sort of. If i were to run into someone i know, and they see me alone, what will they think? That i have NO friends???These days, I do almost everything alone. I can eat alone without qualms but never in a restaurant, just fast food or hawker. I go shopping alone too. So i wonder, is this an indication that I have grown more comfortable with myself, and more secure too? Is this a sign that I am all grown up?
But then again, I eat so fast is because I am alone and somehow i can't imagine having a slow and meaningful dinner in a restaurant alone. I guess eating is a very social thing. If i were to to eat at a restaurant, it has to be with someone and be accompanied by good conversation and such.
And the reason why i shop so much faster alone is because i will hate to be seen by someone i know, and to be seen alone!! I still cringe at the thought of that. But i still go ahead with it. I have reached that stage in life when sometimes, being alone is unavoidable. Though i must say that i am able to carry out whole conversations in my head and be very entertained. Am i being narcissistic or wat?
I was all out to spend today. I have not shopped for quite some time, and since this week hasn't been any where near great, i felt that retail therapy was required. But alas, its depressing when you can't find anything you want to buy. Have i over-consumed???
posted by eline @ 11:56 PM
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