causality
Life is unpredictable. I guess that is what makes it fun too. Sometimes, we don't realise that the little decisions we make in life can have such a significant impact on us later. When i think about my life, i like to trace such decisions i made which got me to some place later. And i wonder, if I had made a completely different choice, will i still be where I am?When i was 15, i attended an astronomy camp which brought out the very nerd side of me. I was introduced to the world of black holes and quantum mechanics in of course, a simplistic and engaging way. But that got me started on reading popular science books. That got me started on Issas Asimov, and a whole lot of geeky books. And this in turn stirred my interest in science. Greatly. That was also when i began to seriously consider being a scientist. So it was no surprise when i decided to major in science in college, though it was a difficult choice between biology and physics. Which then made me decide to join SPS. I thought that being in that program will allow me to dabble with physics even when i was majoring in biology. On retrospect, it might have been slightly naive to think this way, but hey, i got a pretty fair share of physics in my first year. I even did a project on 1/f in music, which sounds nothing like biology.
Being in SPS provided the opportunities for me to be actively involved in research. As depressing as it may get at times, I love it. And throughout my undergrad years, I was almost always involved in some kind of project. Just this fact alone, impressed Bill such that he accepted me into his lab for grad studies here in california.
This is the chain of events that got me to where i am today. Simply put.
And i start to think that everything which happens in life, happens for a reason. Or maybe i try too hard to attribute a reason for everything that has happened in my life. For example. why was i at the conference in Trieste? I met a guy who got me really thinking about the cytoskeleton at growth cones. right now, i am working with microtubules... not vastly different eh?
At the end of the day, there is no causality here. Its just me, making it up. Trying hard to find this higher deeper meaning as to why things happen in life. And trying desperately to justify why certain things happen. Its almost a consolation, when shit happens, u tell yourself, its ok, there must be a greater reason behind this which i will only know in the future. Thats a bit like how the religious thinks... such as, God has a plan for us. We may not know why this is happening now, but trust in the Lord because he know whats best for us. There is a reason for why something is happening (or not) now. It will work out eventually in the future, this is just not the right time.
See the parallels here?
posted by eline @ 3:16 PM
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